After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
