David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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