I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
