that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
