we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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