Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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