do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
