So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
