dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
