Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
