My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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