I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
