After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so let's talk penis.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
