Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
