I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
