we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
