are you so shy because you have an std?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
