Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just want to make out with him forever
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
