I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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