I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
