Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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