my vag is so smooth its legendary
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
