If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
