Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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