I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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