i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
