I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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