Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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