im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
