Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
