We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
