Tell her she can't have a vagina
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
