Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
