i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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