i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's never too late to be topless.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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