No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
