First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize