How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
