love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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