Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i out mim tonsoeep
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