i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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