they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
