I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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