Soap is not a condiment
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
