Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
