I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize