Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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