I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
