If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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