Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
