his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
