so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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