I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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