I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
