real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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