I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
barbara walters just said penis...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
