can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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