You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
