i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
