I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
