peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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