Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
