Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
