I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
