apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
