I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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