Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize