Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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