and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
