I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
