Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All the doctor said was why
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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