grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
