Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
