That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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