Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
