The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
