at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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