This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
