Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
