Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wish there were birth control emojis
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
