idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
